Planning My Affair
Posted 12 November 2005
It's already becoming a little frustrating writing an online diary. I'm so constrained in the content that I can show that I wonder how long I'll be able to keep readers interested. After all, I haven't got an unlimited number of outfits to show you.
I've started an offline diary which basically uses the text entries from the Web one and expands the media content. The result is so much better. No cropped pictures, blurred faces, and there are pics and video clips of me doing very intimate and kinky acts with my husband, as well as on my own. It's so annoying not being able to publish it so others can enjoy looking at video of me and give their comments.
Once again on a Saturday morning I've dressed up for the occasion, but you can take it as read that whenever I'm writing my diary entries I'll be wearing something shiny and restrictive. Today I'm in rubber, and when you look at the photo I've posted you'll probably think I'm wearing a latex dress. In fact what you're seeing are separate garments - a micro-miniskirt, a corset, a buckled bra and a mistress top. This outfit is one of my favourites; to my mind it's the perfect domina look.
This past week Martin has been masturbating more than usual and it's obvious that the catalyst for this is the thought of me sleeping with Matt. This must be really tugging at my husband's emotions - on the one hand he's now going to be afraid that any casual relationship with another man could turn into something more permanent and he could lose me, but at the same time he's tantalisingly close to seeing his greatest fantasy being realised.
Despite being highly aroused by the knowledge that he's soon to be cuckolded, Martin has at the same time been noticeably more moody over the last few days. He has moments of sullenness when he's unresponsive and seems dejected. This is quite understandable considering the magnitude of the change in his life that's occurring, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with it. Therefore I'm going to bring matters to a head soon and end his sulkiness once and for all. I need to teach him that any negative attitude towards his Mistress is an affront than cannot and will not be tolerated. Realistically I can only bring him to heel through punishment and humiliation, and that's exactly what he's going to get.
I could ease Martin's burden here by explaining that I think it's quite possible that I'm going to fall in love with someone else (indeed I may already be at that stage with Matt) but that won't lessen my love for him or induce me to leave him. I need Martin, and without him my life would be a shadow of its former self. Eventually I suppose I'll have to make him aware of this diary's existence and he'll be able to read for himself my feelings regarding him, but until then I want to keep him on edge. The mental pain he's now suffering is all part of his domination.
So, deep down Martin's fear is that he may be discarded soon as I fall in love with a stronger, more powerful man who can give me much greater sexual satisfaction, but he doesn't yet realise that I will never fully get that satisfaction if he's not there to cuckold and humiliate. In time Martin will be able to cope with this insecurity if he doesn't feel he is being compared to other men, and the way for me to achieve this is by gradually changing his role in his own mind from that of husband to one of becoming my invaluable personal servant. Of course he already acts as the latter in our bedroom sessions, but I want something more permanent than this. It needs to become a state of mind for him, and this is going to require some additional training. I have to say that I'm really looking forward to moulding my husband into his new role - a sort of ironic payback for the way he once manipulated me.
Although I've occasionally taunted Martin this past week about me sleeping with someone else, I've kept the specifics of what I intend to do very low key. I want to keep his expectations subdued. Then when he's eventually confronted with the reality of the bizarre sex I'm planning to enjoy, the emotional impact will be that much greater.
I've never had any doubts about how difficult it's going to be to actually end up in a sexual liaison with Matt. The bitter experience of his recent divorce should work in my favour since I'm only proposing a casual relationship based on nothing other than sex. On the other hand I'm not sure how he would feel about having an affair with a married woman, especially one who is also a work colleague. It wouldn't be the first time that a senior manager at work has 'knocked off' one of the married female staff so there shouldn't be any career repercussions if word gets around, but nevertheless Matt may simply be reluctant to become involved with a woman who isn't unattached.
On a day-to-day basis I don't see Matt all that often and I can't just send him an email that says:
Will you have sex with me?
I need to pick my moment, and I think that moment will arrive in a month's time. I'm project leader in putting together a large contract for some overseas clients and in December we'll be making our pitch at a West London hotel. Although I'll be doing the spadework, Matt will do the presentation. He's perfect for this sort of job - commanding, good-looking, articulate, but above all he's able to sell without bullshitting.
I'll be there as the attractive senior assistant with two juniors. Even though it's really my baby it doesn't bother me that Matt will be seen as the principal. All I want to do is win the contract, and if I have to flash my legs in a short skirt to keep the clients interested then I'm more than happy to play along. Above all though it means I can wear something provocative which I know will appeal to Matt but which won't initially seem like a blatant come-on to him. He'll actually be expecting me to wear something stimulating.
Now I've just got to decide what to wear. Since it'll be in early December there'll be no problem if I wear boots and I've pretty much decided that's what I'll do. Thigh boots are actually in fashion this season and we'll be in London where just about anything goes, but although I'm tempted, I think that wearing thigh length will be taking things too far. I've got a very nice pair of stiletto-heeled knee length black leather boots which come up a little higher on the leg than most styles. Combined with a short skirt and black stockings, these should be perfect. I haven't chosen the skirt yet, or the top/blouse, but you should be able to see the final outfit as I'll be getting Martin to video me dressing for the meeting. I hope to post some captures.
I'm not expecting anything to happen on the day of the meeting. My intention is primarily to send Matt a message and I'll play it by ear as to how I achieve that. Despite the excitement of anticipation rising in me, I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground. Mentally I need to be prepared for the possibility that Matt will not respond to my advances and that ultimately I'll have to look elsewhere for a lover.
Unfortunately, at the moment he's all I can think about. I'll be very disappointed if this doesn't work out.
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