The Girl Who Loves Cream
Posted 19 November 2005
By now I think I've given you a fair idea of the sorts of things that excite me, but let me give you some further information which will help put my activities into some sort of context.
To start with, when I'm enjoying sex through self-stimulation, I fantasise. I mention this because in many magazine articles and other sources that I read, I'm told that women don't fantasise. Instead they have sexual 'feelings' rather than specific thoughts of events and encounters. If my description of this seems a little vague it's because I don't really understand what is meant by these 'feelings'. All I know is that I have pictures in my mind when I'm building up to a climax. These can be images of me being groped, sucking big pricks, whipping men, being spanked; in fact there's no real limit to the range of fantasies that I enjoy. Is this really as unusual as I seem to think it is, or are women being misled? I'd love to hear from any female readers on this. How is it for you?
When I'm alone I'll manufacture my own little fantasy scene and then I'll mentally project myself into it. It becomes quite real to me, so much so that I'll fully act any part I'm playing, including talking out loud to any imaginary characters sharing my cognitive stage. I'll also use props where necessary to add to the experience. By acting out my fantasies in this way there are no boundaries to the kinky games that I can enjoy, although of course I would much rather they were real rather than make-believe experiences.
This playacting is always made all the more exciting if I can introduce an element of risk into it - the risk of being seen and consequently being acutely embarrassed. In a way my online diary is just an extension of this, with the risk of being recognised by someone who knows me. Whatever the psychology behind it, all I know is that my orgasms are so much more intense if they're experienced at a moment when someone could see or discover me. Once I'm past a certain threshold I'm sure I wouldn't be able to hold back, even if I were suddenly aware that I was being watched. I'm not just talking about the point of climax here; I'm talking about a minute or so from climax when I'm simply too turned on to stop. The idea of involuntarily coming in this way is thrilling to me.
Another thing you should know is that once I'm highly turned on it takes very little physical stimulation to bring me to release. Once I'm 'in the zone' I can pretty well come using anything that I can rub against my clitoris. Sure, vibrators and dedicated sex toys are great because they're usually phallic and they've got built-in stimulation, but I often get just as intense an orgasm by more unconventional means - using a boot toe or heel, the handle of a whip, the corner of a table, or whatever takes my fancy at the time.
As for what particularly turns me on - well, the catalogue is endless, but if I had to make a list of the fantasy thoughts I tend to gravitate towards then the following headings (in no particular order) would probably make my top ten:
Recently I've increasingly found myself wondering whether I should leave as fantasy those items that I've never experienced. In ten years' time when my looks are beginning to fade and my body is fighting time, am I going to look back with regret that I didn't reach out and live my dreams? Or are some longings best left as untouchable flights of fancy?
At the moment I believe I'm still fairly level-headed about where I'm going, but I can't help thinking that once I've crossed the Rubicon and cuckolded Martin, other desires are suddenly going to seem equally as obtainable. After all, there's nothing on that list that is totally out of the question. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things develop.
In time I'll expand my thoughts on each of the items in the list above, but for today let me just talk a little more about the last two items - subjects which, in part at least, are already more than just a fantasy these days.
Several years ago (I can't remember exactly when) I was dominating Martin in my bedroom. He was kneeling before me giving me cunnilingus while I was punishing his bottom with a cane. Eventually he brought me to orgasm, and since he had performed well I informed him that he would also be allowed to come. He therefore began to masturbate while kissing my legs and the tops of my thigh boots. In such situations it never takes Martin long to ejaculate, and even though I've usually just climaxed myself, it still turns me on to watch him wank so uncontrollably in such a submissive position.
Usually when Martin comes in this way he will catch his cum in his free hand to prevent it spraying all over the bedroom carpet. I don't know what went wrong on this occasion - maybe he climaxed unexpectedly or simply missed catching the jism with his hand - but he accidentally shot a substantial portion of his load all over my leather boots. Now, I love my boots with a passion and to have them despoiled like this should have left me incandescent with anger. However I found the sight of Martin's semen dripping down the front of my boots surprisingly arousing. Even more arousing though was the thought of how Martin should atone for his indiscretion.
I knew he hadn't ejaculated deliberately on the boots when I saw his face: it was a mixture of panic and mortification.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry. It was an accident. I'll get a cloth..."
He began to get up, but I immediately stopped him with my cane.
"No you won't," I said. "It's your mess, so you can lick it up."
To my husband's great credit, and my surprise, he didn't hesitate. He immediately bent down and did exactly as I'd instructed. The effect on me was overwhelming. Oh God, I remember thinking, what have I been missing? It was as though a previously undiscovered door had been opened for me, revealing a whole new room of humiliation that I could inflict on Martin. It was so exciting to see him do it; so deliciously demeaning for him, especially as he had to do it after he'd ejaculated, when his passion would be rapidly dissipating. And what a beautiful sight as he moved his head away after the first few licks so he could swallow, leaving sticky threads of cum stretching between his lips and the boots.
I did my level best to remain impassive throughout the whole affair, caning him several times because that's what I thought he would expect me to do.
"Good, that's better. Now you take the boots away and wipe them, then polish them. And then polish them again. I'm going to inspect them later, Martin. If I find a single mark on them anywhere..."
When he had left the room I closed my eyes and fingered myself furiously as I relived the moment again and again in my head. New fantasies and possibilities flooded through my mind.
Martin soon realised what a turn-on this event had been for me when I started ordering him to ejaculate over me in our sessions and then made him lick and swallow the cum. I've always been very keen to video these moments and I've now got a large number of clips of him releasing over my boots, skirts, and underwear, with close-ups of him consuming the result. A special treat for him is to ejaculate over my bare breasts and then suck them, eating his cum at the same time. Unusually, I allow him to orgasm before me in such cases so I can enjoy my own intense climax as my shiny, lubricated breasts are pleasured by my husband's mouth.
This excitement I get from thoughts of having cum released over me was heightened when I read a letter to a magazine in which a girl described how she had been at a well-to-do Christmas party where she had given oral sex to three men in succession. She had done this in a bathroom, and after she had finished sucking the third guy she looked in the mirror and saw that she had small threads of cum matted into her hair. Rather than clean herself up, she just left the globs of spunk where they lay and rejoined the festivities downstairs. She described what a fantastic turn on it had been to mingle with the other guests - including the wife of one of the men she had accommodated - knowing that splashes of semen were still visible on her.
I remember being incredibly envious of this girl when I first read the story and I cut it out and saved it. I've still got it today and from time to time I'll read it again, imagining it was me in the scene. I'd love to experience such a moment and I suppose once again we come back to this mixture of risk and exhibitionism that I find so appealing.
A very strong fantasy for me nowadays is to imagine that I'm in a sex club, dressed in one of my tight leather or rubber outfits. I'm in a sort of pit with another girl who's wearing similar fetish clothing. This girl is extremely attractive with a fabulous body, and together we entertain the paying male customers by kissing and playing with each other.
As the watching men get excited they openly masturbate, spraying their ejaculations over us. This goes on for a long time and when one man moves away, another soon replaces him. The girl and I are so turned on by fondling each other that we're completely oblivious to the men looking down on us, and soon our black leather and latex is dripping with cum from the masturbation shower.
No matter how kinky or outrageous this may sound to you, I can say for sure that if I could participate in such a scene with no possible comebacks then I wouldn't hesitate to do so. In fact I'd pay good money to be given the opportunity. The thought of many men simultaneously ejaculating over me is a very, very powerful fantasy of mine.
Some of you will have noticed that in my list of fantasies above I put "Making my husband swallow his own or another man's semen", and it won't surprise you to learn that I now have plans to make this fantasy real in every respect. For the time being however I'm not going to say any more about this, other than to tell you that the anticipation is tremendously exciting for me.
Well, I suppose I'd better stop writing and start getting ready to go out. We're going to a formal dinner tonight and some of Martin's most important customers will be present so I want to look my best. There'll be no visible fetish signals tonight, although I'll be wearing a boned leather corset under my black evening dress. The only thing I've got to decide is how tight I dare lace it. I love the constriction and slim waist a corset provides but if I'm not careful, by the end of the evening I'll be suffering and there will be no easy way to loosen the ties.
We'll be back very late and I don't think I'll be playing any games later. Tomorrow I want to give Martin the punishment I talked about last week. He's still sulking at times, and I'm now really tired of it.
Tomorrow it ends.
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